On sleep

Ah, sleep. The ambiguous friend of my past. Bugsy still nurses every morning at 4 am sharp. Sometimes he makes it until 4:10. Since he goes to bed at 7 pm, this is a pretty long time make it until and although I could probably "retrain" him to not nurse then, something in my being things its wrong to deny him of this feeding. I can't really explain it but it is a strong enough feeling for me to give up massive amounts of sleep over.

I am so freaking tied when I wake up in the morning at 6:15 am but by the time I've had a little coffee it's like someone has spiked it with a little amnesia medicine. I hear myself saying to my best friend on the phone "We had a pretty good night, I mean bugsy make it till five after 4 and I was asleep by 11 so that was almost 5 full hours."

My best friend, whom in this blog I will affectionately refer to as KK since she has an odd paranoia of her life being exposed on the Internet (paparazzi? psycho mad men lurking on blogspot?) has two twin boys aged 26 months. She has been my inspiration since they were both sleeping so great for so long. Weeeeelllll, now they have decided to boycott the whole sleep thing and I am as panicked as I would be if I found out that U2 broke up. I mean I had hope!

So I now know that the sleep thing doesn't just resolve itself, it is constantly manifesting into different issues and problems. No wonder there are eight leading "sleep experts" in the field right now. And Yes, I've read most of their theories. What no one tells you is that YOUR BABY FORGOT TO READ THE BOOK.

Last night Brandon and I were lying in bed and reminiscing about how we could sleep in until 2 pm in a dark and messy room in college. We didn't care. We just slept. The only thing that woke us up was the desire to go get some freebirds. And now, although our life is the furthest thing from carefree we still do love some mexican food. The only difference is we are taking turns eating bites between spooning bites to our little bugsy. That and our clothes are covered in guac and rice and messy hand prints. Oh wait, that was the case in college too!

The year of Change

I fully believe that you have to appreciate your everyday life and not live so much in the future that you lose site of the present -- but this can sometimes be a struggle for me. Is it my ambition? My lofty ideas? Or my inappropriate discontentment with the here and now which propels me forward? I don't want to ever take for granted all of the blessings of my life, but yet I also don't want life to pass me by and for me to realize that we have made big mistakes.

What I am trying to say is that we are moving again. Our house is on the market and we are starting down a new path that will *hopefully* lead us back to central Austin closer to taco shack and the public library and central market. Further away from the sweater vests and think-they-are-rich-because they-live in-4ooo-square- foot- front- entry- garage- house -neighbors we have. So it all started with an offer from some friends of ours who have a fairly new custom home building business to give us a killer deal on building a house. Our wheals started turning and suddenly, as ideas started in conversations of marriages sometimes do, the idea took on a life of its own. It is a great idea -- but it will be a lot of work.

God I love our house, and it will be hard to leave all this space, but deep down it isn't a good fit for us to live out here. Sure it is only 15-20 minutes from our old central Austin neighborhood, but it could be anywhere U.S.A. and not Austin, Texas. So here we go, off on another adventure with goals and dreams in hand - and a venti starbucks vanilla latte in the other.