bringing up bugsy and bean

I've moved the blog, and decided to focus more on personal writing rather then updating. The new address is: http://bringingupbugsyandbean.wordpress.com/

Exciting! Terrifying!

Here is the first glimpse of our second child! I am 11 weeks pregnant this week and due on 2.05.09. We are so blessed and so excited, and also a bit terrified of how life will be with two children. Wish us Luck!!!

Peacock!

These photos were taken at Mayfield Park. This is Grant's reaction to the peacock's loud cry. The pictures tell the whole story....

Great Links

I'd love to spend a little time recording on the blog some articles that have been meaningful to me on the path of parenting. Each day for me, as a stay at home mother is a challenge to be better at my job then I was the day before. To parent mindfully, with intuition and research as my tools. This is my daily mission.

Harvard research in support of attachment parenting

Old Fashioned Play builds Serious Skill

Where is your center?

Time In

Support Statements of Extended Nursing

Stem cells found in breast milk

Reflections on Dino's Return

I am truly blown away by the response I have gotten from the Austin community! I have gotten over 170 e-mails, 30 phone calls, and 6 text messages regarding our missing lovie. I know the message circulated to tons of online groups like ours -- people were calling or writing because they had gotten the all points bulletin on their neighborhood or mom's group and just wanted to help. I also got calls from other states, California, Florida and North Carolina. One of the messages a mom left said that when she tried to call an online retailer, they said it was the 10th call they had gotten from Austin about this lost jellycat junglie croc! The response truly blew me and Brandon away. The outpouring of support made us feel like a bigger part of something -- as if a little boy having his lovie back was crucial to the well being of mankind :)

As a mom, losing dino was the most desperate I have ever felt. More desperate then when Grant's tiny newborn jaundice levels were at a 19 and he had to have blood taken out of four arteries and eventually be hospitalized.
More desperate then when the rotavirus got bad and we were pacing the halls at children's hospital begging for them to get our lethargic one year old an IV. In those cases his well being was in a competent professionals hands. In this case, his well being was all in mine.

A while back I asked my beloved AP moms group what their Attachment Parenting soundbite was -- I loved one member's response:

"it is a way of parenting that emphasizes emotional responsiveness and strives to nurture the child's emotional development and enhance the parent-child bond as much as possible."

In every sense of those words, losing Dino illustrated my commitment to AP, because the emotional responsiveness I had with my child during this time what so intense and what propelled me to turn over every stone in search for his lovie. I had some strangers write and gently suggest that he would eventually get over it and I should too. I know they were trying to help, but they just didn't get that when you attach at a cellular level with your child, their losses are more heartbreaking to you then if they were your own. And when your child is an "attached" child, I think that when they form attachments to people or things, they are really strong and genuine.

When Dino was "found" Grant's response was one of happiness, but also there was an attitude of "well of course we found him mommy, you are my mommy and you make everything right!" He didn't say those words exactly, but that is the sentiment that was expressed in his actions. What an awesome responsibility we have as parents! Of course there will be times that mommy can't fix his hurts, but so help me God I will try everything in my power to make it ok for him. This is something that will be the same for me when he is a grown man and an amazingly intense experience to go through first hand.
Nothing makes you feel more like a mom then when your child is really hurting in some way and you feel powerless to fix it. The real momma bear comes out!

Yesterday after the recovery of dino, Grant came home and slept four hours.
He has never slept that long in his life! After that nap he wouldn't leave the room without dino, as if the bond between them was stronger than ever.
Every so often I would catch him out of the corner of one eye hugging him and patting him on the back like you would your baby. In the kitchen last night, Brandon and I were getting dinner ready and we could see Grant in the living room talking with dino, we over heard him telling dino again how clean he was "dino got a bath" and then "dino, I love you soooo much!" Brandon and I just hugged on tight to each other there in the middle of the kitchen.
Grateful for this sweet little boy that we created, grateful that dino was home, and grateful that we get to be his compass through the rocky parts of life.

A neighbor suggested sewing a material heart onto dino with "Grant's beloved dino" and our phone number. I loved this idea and will be working on it this weekend. I am still watching eBay for dino #3 and even #4 to have hidden away in our closet. In the meantime, Dino has become like my second child, I'm not letting him out of my site!

Thank you again to everyone for the thoughts, prayers and kind words and thank you to Grant for teaching me more about mother love every day.

A boy and his dino

The following two e-mails sum up what our family went through went Grant's favorite stuffed animal was lost:

PART ONE:

Friends -- please help Grant by passing along this e-mail message. I am turning over every stone in the hopes of finding a replacement!!!!

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I am a mother here in Austin, Texas writing this in desperation. I am hoping that you have and can sell me a Jellycat Junglie Croc. My two year old son has grown extremely attached to this stuffed animal, and yesterday we lost him in Target off of I-35 and he is now nowhere to be found. He cried for two hours before finally falling asleep without him last night and spent the entire night tossing and turning and crying out for him. Today he has gotten so worked up that he has thrown up twice and is not wanting to eat anything.
I have never seen him like this, he is beyond devastated.

I have searched the store we lost him top to bottom, made flyer's, and also searched all 6 stores in my city of Austin Texas that carry the Jellycat brand. I have called the manufacturer, put postings on mother's boards and am now searching the internet in hopes that someone out there can help us find a new one. This is an older model of Jellycat toys so apparently it is not made anymore. The sites that I have found on google, are sold out of this item. Please, Please let me know if you have this item and are willing to sell it to us! Please feel free to forward to on to anyone you know!
HELP, please our family is desperate! Here is a link to a picture of the toy we need: http://www.oompa.com/static/JCJUN6CR.htm


PART TWO:

I am so happy to report that Grant has been reunited with his best buddy, "dino" (the jellycat junglie croc) that we had been missing for two days!!!
Amazingly a lady who lives in Pflugerville had bought all of the Junglie animals when her some was born two years ago for a jungle themed nursery.
The croc has sat on his bookshelf as decoration, but he was never really that interested in him. She saw my desperate post on Craigslist and gladly met this morning and sold me the like new croc!

On the way to pick him up, I told Grant that a lady called and she found his Dino and washed him and was bringing him to us. So when he saw the (new) dino his reaction was a look of scrutiny (I was holding my breath) and then
- "Dino got a bath! He's so clean!"

After two nights of not sleeping well and no naps he fell asleep in the car briefly on the way back from picking up Dino. I can not tell you what it felt like to look in the review mirror and see him peacefully asleep with his best buddy. All is right with the world!!!

I would like to send a heartfelt thanks to the many people who expressed their concern for us and were helping us to try to find the replacement. I have gotten over 50 e-mails and countless phone calls from total strangers who genuinely wanted to help us find him. I really appreciate all of you who researched, made phone calls and sent prayers to St. Anthony.

In closing, I will be continuing to search for a back up dino so hopefully we never have to go through this again! If you run across one, I will gladly buy it from you. To those of you who found the three websites online that had him listed, they are actually sold out -- I called them all yesterday before sending the e-mail. I think the only way to find a back up is through other people's collections.

Once again THANK YOU everyone!!!

TWO

I awake on Wednesday morning to the realization that on this day, two years ago, I gave birth to this amazing kid laying in between us in the bed. Can it only have been two years? Has it already been two years? It's an amazing day mostly because it brings to light some strong sentiments I have about this little one's life. He has been such a joy to get to know and also he has been a window to my soul's aching to live its true life. Which, as a mother, it turns out I am.

I decide that on this day, we will do anything that he wants to do. Microwave an apple and see it explode? Sure! Climb a ladder and turn on and off lights? Of course! Play in the tub with mamma's shaving cream? Ok! Throw sprinkles on the floor and stomp in them? no problem! Eat only cupcakes, well how many times do you turn two?